You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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