a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
