We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
