why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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