WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
