saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
