I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
