it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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