my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
