I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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