fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
