Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
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Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize