ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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