Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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