I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
