At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
