jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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