cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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