They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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