ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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