Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
