someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
