Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
should my penis look like a turkey
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I need a beard to bite.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
