I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
