I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Last time i carry you out of a forest
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I need to calm my uterus...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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