can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
