Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
