Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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