Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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