I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.