What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.