WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.