1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me