Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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