I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dignity is for republicans.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
