He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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