do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
