can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
