I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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