So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
