were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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