i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
