Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i now understand why vodka
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize