just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she pinky promised me she was 18
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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