Got a toothbrush?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
