the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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