Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
