Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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