the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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