Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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