I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
