Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize