put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize