shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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