everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Michael Bay diarrhea
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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