i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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