some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
