That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
