Can i not drive my cunt home
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We have started to decorate penises.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
