Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
