Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
