She went from zero to smokin in five shots
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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